The Enneagram is the self-growth system that just keeps giving. Your Enneagram type shows up in every area of your life from your relationships, to your mental health, to how you run your business. Knowing your Enneagram type gives you insight and awareness of how you get in your own way. It helps you understand what behaviors and beliefs act as barriers to running a business and being an effective leader.

Accuracy of tests and signs you have your type right or wrong. It’s common for people to relate to all of the Enneagram types. We have all nine of the types in us to some extent so this makes sense. But your Enneagram type is more like a core wound that causes consistent suffering than a simple set of personality traits. Two people can have very similar personality traits and behaviors, but the motivation and internal processes behind them are very different. Learn to recognize the internal and emotional signs that you have your type right or wrong.

Watching for green and red flags is an incredibly useful skill for everyone because we will all come into contact with problematic people. For people who have experienced abuse before, it’s an essential skill. Whether you have experienced abuse in your childhood, adulthood, or both (because the abuse cycle tends to keep repeating itself) you may not see or react to red flags. It’s very common for abuse survivors to not see problematic behavior as a red flag. When I work with survivors, we talk about the reasons for this and work together to strengthen the skill of spotting green and red flags.

I work with a lot of people who’ve endured narcissistic abuse. I’ve learned over the years how incredibly covert and subtle the abuse is when it first starts. Sometimes people see the signs of problematic behavior and convince themselves (or are convinced by others) that it’s not a big deal. This is especially true if other people don’t see the behavior as problematic or are already caught up in the abuse cycle themselves. Much of my work centers around breaking cycles of abuse. One of the ways to do this is by recognizing the red flags before it even starts. The Enneagram community is not immune to problematic people. In fact, in my experience, it can be very appealing to people who seek to have power over others. The Enneagram can be weaponized as a tool of manipulation just like many other spiritual systems.

Core Emotion: Fear (Externalizing),

Filter: There is a world of opportunity and so many possibilities

Energetics: Bouncy, wiry, upbeat, positive

Traits: Optimistic, friendly, fast intellect, hedonistic, run from negativity, hard to commit, busy

Values: Excitement, newness, ingenuity, humor

Childhood: Learned early on that they might get trapped in their emotions- this is a deep fear, often felt that they were “too much”

Not afraid to: Express joy, do what feels good, enthusiastically plan and express ideas

Hard for them to: Sit in negative emotions, do anything that makes them feel trapped, slow down

Core Emotion: Fear (Avoiding)

Filter: The world isn’t safe and I can’t trust

Energetics: Friendly, intellectually quick, alert, connected,

Traits: Trustworthy, down to earth, rebellious, skeptical, logical, fearful or fearless, paradoxical

Values: Honesty, integrity, loyalty, compassion, playing devil's advocate, skepticism

Childhood: Learned early on that the world is not safe and that they must be vigilant

Not afraid to: Show up in crisis (except they fear it) be courageous (except they fear it) express doubt

Hard for them to: Trust themselves or others, sit with doubt, sit with betrayal

Core Emotion: Fear (Internalizing)

Filter: I will be intruded upon and not safe, I don’t have enough stores to last

Energetics: Drawn back, observing, quiet, sensitive

Traits: Heady, withdrawn, isolated, shares mostly about areas of interest

Values: Privacy, boundaries, gathering information and data, submerging in interests and gaining expertise

Childhood: Learned early on that their privacy would not be respected and they must make themselves unneeded

Not afraid to: Dive into interests for hours and hours, tell you no, gather data

Hard for them to: Feel their emotions and yours, be too social for too long, feel that that they have enough of what it takes to do all of life, reach out to others and feel needy or needed

Core Emotion: Shame (Internalizing)

Filter: Sees what is missing (outside and inside of themselves)

Energetics: Deep, melancholy

Traits: Creative, expressive, deep feeling, compassionate

Values: Uniqueness, being real, beauty, darkness and authenticity

Childhood: Learned early on that in order to be worthy they had to be unique and special.

Not afraid to: Be creative, sit with big emotions and with darkness

Hard for them to: Not live in their emotions, accept that nothing is wrong with them and that they belong, be bored and stuck in routine / ordinary things, not feel shame when comparing self to others

Core Emotion: Shame (Avoiding)

Filter: Sees who and what has value

Energetics: Sharp, alert, clean/sleek aesthetic, energized

Traits: Motivated, charming, successful, persuasive, deceitful, pragmatic

Values: Quality, looking good, achieving, competence and proficiency

Childhood: Learned early on that in order to be worthy, they had to achieve and perform. It wasn’t okay to just be themselves.

Not afraid to: Climb to the top, jump in and get moving, set high goals and work to get there

Hard for them to: Do things they might fail at, be vulnerable, be patient, be misunderstood, tap into their true hearts desires, slow down

Core Emotion: Shame (Externalizing)

Filter: Sees where there is a need to help

Energetics: Penetrating eyes, cute, seductive

Traits: Compassionate, bubbly, friendly, giving, self-sacrificing, prideful

Values: Being needed, being kind, relationships, generosity

Childhood: Learned early on that it wasn’t okay to have needs, that they could be worthy only if they were of service to others and needed

Not afraid to: Offer help, give you the shirt off their back, cheerlead and support others

Hard for them to: Take care of themselves and recognize their own needs, say no to helping others, draw boundaries, tolerate someone being mad or upset with them, not be liked

Core Emotion: Anger (Internalizing)

Filter: Sees everything that isn’t right

Energetics: Upright, straight

Traits: Discerning, serious, orderly, high expectations for self and others, rule following (society’s OR their own)

Values: Integrity, fairness, quality and doing things the correct / best way

Childhood: Learned early on that it wasn’t okay to make mistakes and internalized that they are a mistake and must judge themselves harshly to fix it

Not afraid to: Do conflict if it serves a greater purpose, stand-up for what they believe is right, be discerning, see things in black and white ways

Hard for them to: Make mistakes, be flexible, adapt to unexpected change, see things in the gray, let loose and play

Core Emotion: Anger (Externalizing)

Filter: Sees that something terrible has happened and they must fix it

Energetics: Big, powerful, strong

Traits: Gregarious, big personality, ‘in your face’, motivator, protector, leader, comfortable / likes being in the spotlight, intense, work hard / play hard, lust for vices

Values: Directness, meeting goals, honesty, loyalty

Childhood: Learned early on that weakness is vulnerability and they must protect themselves and others. Often took care of or protected a parent, sibling, friend or pet.

Not afraid to: Tell you like it is, take action, be in conflict, take control

Hard for them to: Be vulnerable, let go of control, not feel responsible for protecting others they feel are weak, stop working (can be workaholics)

Core Emotion: Anger (Avoiding)

Energetics: Calm, easy-going, comfortable

Filter through which they see the world: Sees what is out of balance

Negative Core Belief: I don’t matter

Traits: Easy going, conflict avoidant, kind, compassionate, stubborn, can be passive-aggressive and rely on indirect communication

Values: Consensus, balance, everyone being heard and their needs getting met, seeing things from everyone’s side

Childhood: Learned early on that it was better to get along, disappear, and be peaceful than to be seen and take up space.

Not afraid to: Get absorbed in hobbies and rest (9’s love to relax!)

Hard for them to: Be in conflict or be around it, state their opinion and take up space

The Enneagram and Trauma