Enneagram Type 3
The Enneagram is such a powerful tool to use in therapy or Enneagram coaching. When my clients find their correct type and resonate with the work of that type, it accelerates their self-awareness and self-growth. The Enneagram acts like a mirror and a compass. My clients can see the good, the bad, and the ugly AND understand what’s keeping them stuck. They learn how to break the cycles that are keeping them stuck and preventing them from thriving. If you study the Enneagram, you know that it goes SO MUCH deeper than what a small blog or social media post can describe. The Enneagram is just as complex as the humans it represents. Keep that in mind, and here are some basics about Enneagram Type 3.
Type 3
Core Emotion: Shame (Avoiding)
Filter: Sees who and what has value
Energetics: Sharp, alert, clean/sleek aesthetic, energized
Traits: Motivated, charming, successful, persuasive, deceitful, pragmatic
Values: Quality, looking good, achieving, competence and proficiency
Childhood: Learned early on that in order to be worthy, they had to achieve and perform. It wasn’t okay to just be themselves.
Not afraid to: Climb to the top, jump in and get moving, set high goals and work to get there
Hard for them to: Do things they might fail at, be vulnerable, be patient, be misunderstood, tap into their true hearts desires, slow down
Common Experiences for 3’s
Moving quickly and getting a lot done- experiencing irritation (or anxiety) at slowing down
Feeling annoyed at inefficiency
Feeling frustrated by small talk and invigorated by stimulating ideas and meaningful talk
Eventually feeling empty despite their accomplishments if they are not working towards their true desires
Deeply desiring for themselves and the team to look good and perform well, feeling shame when they or the team don’t look good or fail.
Experiencing a deep appreciation for quality and innovation
Burnout, exhaustion, physical injuries, illness due to overworking
Difficulty getting in touch with their emotions, especially inefficient feelings
Type 3 Trauma Response
Seeks Safety Through Being What Others Want Them To Be
Attention is externally focused on identifying what is seen as valuable to others and becoming that
Masking true self and true desires
Becoming what others want them to be, even if it’s not good for them
Performing and tirelessly working to achieve success
Ignores signs of exhaustion and works tirelessly to meet goals
Exhaustion from having to be “on” all of the time
Pursuit of goals and focusing on forward movement can shield from feelings of shame and provide a feeling of security through structure, momentum, and achievement
Hyperfocus on achievement and efficiency
Can cut off emotions and live life as if they were a machine or a robot
Vulnerability and being witnessed in their shame can feel unbearable and downright unsafe
Success is tied to worth and failure triggers deep shame
Deceiving others and themselves in the pursuit of reaching goals and avoiding vulnerability
Slowing down and relaxing can cause big anxiety and may even lead to panic
Attempts to win love through being successful and becoming the best at what they do
Deep shame and holding a core belief that their authentic self is not valuable
No matter where you are in your Enneagram journey, working with an Enneagram therapist will help you create the kind of change you desire in your life. It will help you understand and remove the barriers that your type is creating to having the kind of love and relationships that you want. My goal is for you to walk away from therapy with confidence and a feeling of empowerment. I will help you get clarity on what you need to do to grow into the healthiest version of your type. Our Enneagram work and trauma work is never really fully complete, but Enneagram therapy can help you gain clarity on what you need to heal.
Learn more about Enneagram Therapy
If you are ready to get started, the first step to working together is to schedule a free 20 minute phone consultation. Investing your time, money, and emotional energy into therapy or coaching is a big deal. It’s an investment in yourself and your wellbeing. It’s important that you make this investment with trust and confidence that working together is a good fit. This is why I offer a 20 minute phone consultation. During this time we can identify your needs and answer any questions that you have about working together.
Hanna Woody is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in Asheville, North Carolina. She has over 12 years of professional counseling experience and specializes in breaking cycles of intergenerational trauma, childhood trauma, and the Enneagram. Certified in the Embodiment Tradition, she has over 150 hours of training and teaching experience. Hanna is in private practice and provides online mental health therapy, Enneagram coaching, and Enneagram training.